Where’s the Hand Sanitizer?

Thank you for visiting my blog. Today, I’m searching for staples for my household and a few answers. If you’ve been to any of my book-signing events for my YA novel Blame, you may know the main character Jacob is a germaphobe. Like me, he gets teased for carrying hand sanitizer and using it way too frequently.

In addition to food shortages, this pandemic has resulted in shortages of hand sanitizers, tissues, toilet paper, face masks, rubber gloves, and Lysol. During one of our discussions, my former content editor and now agent, Joyce Sweeney asked me, “How are you handling the hand sanitizer shortage?”

The answer is, I’m in panic mode. I need to know where the hand sanitizer is. I’m on a daily online scavenger hunt. Where’s the hand sanitizer?

My query is prompted by a similar question an octogenarian manicurist posed in a Wendy’s commercial in 1980s. “Where’s the Beef?” Claire Peller asked.

The question became so popular presidential candidate Walter Mondale used it during the 1984 debate. That brings me to an explanation of why I’m writing this blog. At 1:00 in the morning yesterday, I received a text from a presidential candidate’s team member requesting I complete a questionnaire. 

The text infuriated me–just about blew my Adirondack wild woman hair off my head. I have a few questions for the candidates. What kind of idiot sends a text at that time of day? What are you going to do to entice manufacturers and entrepreneurs to produce essential products in the United States? Why are you suggesting opening schools during a plague on all our houses? What is your plan for stopping the spread of the coronavirus?